tenuefarfalla | Red Shift inbox

[ Ben had remembered the broad strokes of what she'd told him, if not the specifics - a lot of it had been overshadowed by his embarrassment over breaking down in front of someone who was a complete stranger at the time.

And he really does like it when she talks. One of the things he definitely hadn't forgotten was that Cho could talk quite a lot when she was passionate, which, as a naturally quieter person, he enjoys a great deal. He also remembers that she'd seemed self-conscious about that. As if she expected everyone else to want her to be silent.

Ben definitely doesn't want that.

But he would also rather stick to topics that might not be minefields, and he knows Cho's family is one of those for her, so he gently redirects: ]

So what other dishes do you like making with fish? Or what is your favorite to eat?

I don't know a lot of stuff about cooking, honestly. I'd never done it at all before I came here.

[ Which might make him sound like a douchey spoiled man-child, except, of course, Ben knows now that Cho will know why. He'd died when he was only sixteen and still living in his family home - a home where he was busy being a guinea pig and being sent off on missions to kill people with his powers, not learning to take care of himself and be a regular adult. After that, well. Ghosts don't do much cooking. ]

I really like smoked fish, but that might not taste good with this particular stock. Sometimes the simplest preparations are the best. Clean them, stuff them with herbs and vegetables, wrap them in foil and heat them through. The best thing about the taste of fresh fish is the taste of fresh fish. You don't want to overpower it.

Unless you don't like the taste of fish, of course.

Do you want to help me cook them, when they're ready? I could teach you. It's really pretty easy.

I definitely like the taste of it. Always have.

Seriously? Because I would love that, but I don't want you to feel obligated to do it. There are a few cooking books in the library, I've picked up a few things.

[ A VERY FEW. It sounds fun, but Ben is just... a little wary, asking her to go out of her way for something like this. Cho has a lot of things on her plate. She shouldn't have to make time just for Ben... ]

[ On the other side of the line, where Ben can't see it, Cho's happy smile turns down into a sad little frown. Just for a moment. ]

Ben, I don't do anything with you because I feel obligated to. I do it because I like spending time with you. You're not an obligation. You're one of the nicest things about being stuck here.

[ WELL GOSH he hadn’t been expecting all that. He has a sense right then of the two of them – Ben so worried about imposing and Cho being too generous to say so; Cho so worried about Ben’s self-esteem… both of them, such worriers. He smiles, covering it with his hand even though there is no one to see, and types back simply: ]

Okay.

Then I would love to help you, and to learn some more about cooking.

[ After a moment, he starts typing again. Cho might notice it takes a while, despite the message being short. He erases most of it a few times before retyping it, questioning himself, and then finally sending: ]

Do you know how to make any Korean dishes at all?

Yes. I love Korean food! I might not make it the way you're used to, though. I went to school in New York and that's where I learned from friends and some cooking classes. The Americanized versions of things are not always entirely authentic.

Is there something in particular you wanted to make?

[ Oh, no. Ben had thought the implication of what he was asking was much clearer, but he'd been wrong. So he'll have to clarify. Even if it's mortifying in a way he hadn't even imagined possible. Feeling his face heat with embarrassment, Ben explains: ]

Oh, no. You have it all wrong. I'm not used to any particular way.
I haven't really had it before. Authentic or Americanized.

[ Which is the reason why her assumption that he'll be some discerning judge of it, full of knowledge and familiarity, is so particularly difficult and humiliating. Because he doesn't know any of the things she thinks he must and what's that say about him? ]

So I haven't got anything in particular I wanted to make I just thought it might be good to try it I guess.
I don't know.
That's pretty stupid, right?

[ Why had he even asked? Why had he said anything? Ben should've known better. ]

That's not stupid at all! Food is a wonderful way to connect to culture, and I'm honoured that you thought of me to help you with that. Do you like spicy things? I know what you don't eat, but is there anything in particular that you really like to eat? What was your favourite food as a kid?

[ She is absolutely trying to build a flavour profile for Ben from this conversation now. ]

[ Not for the first time, Ben feels extremely grateful that he had met Cho. He loves his siblings, but he thinks Klaus would probably laugh, if he heard about this. Allison, too, maybe. It's too hard, with family. But Cho... she seems to get it.

So he thinks for a bit and starts telling her what foods he had liked, that Grace used to make. It's clear from the menu he discusses that there wasn't an awful lot of diversity in the dishes. Most were healthy but fairly joyless. Grace had some things she was good at, and she put a lot of love into those simple foods. But food had been a tool in the Hargreeves household. Nothing more. ]

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